The Gift of Flowers
Flowers often accompany significant life events. Anniversaries, birthdays, and funerals all bring flowers to mind. A wedding is one of life’s most important moments associated with flowers. Not surprisingly, flowers played an important part in my wedding. More important than I anticipated they would.
Like many women, I longed to put touches on my wedding which would make it special and unique, be perceived as creative or different. Of the many details, I really struggled with the guest favors. Flipping through wedding catalogs (this was before wedding web sites abounded) all of the favors seemed tacky and cliché to me. Who would want a refrigerator magnet with my picture on it? I wanted to pick something pretty and special that would not be thrown away, at least not immediately. For some reason I cannot now remember, I decided on a personalized bud vase. The one I chose was a simply crystal stem with names and wedding date printed in a fancy font. In retrospect, this seems silly. Why would anyone other than me display flowers in a vase with my name and wedding date on it? But at the time, I thought it a creative, sophisticated choice. The follies of youth viewed from the vantage point of middle age can be quite embarrassing, but that is what I did.
Next, I struggled with how to present the vases to guests. Having them boxed or wrapped was too expensive and time consuming. I did not relish the idea of a favor table piled with one hundred and seventy-five loose vases. At the same time I was wrestling with this question I was working on centerpieces for the dinner table. I didn’t have a firm idea other than the centerpieces would be floral. Perusing options at the local florist, I stumbled upon an unfamiliar flower that would become my favorite - the stargazer lily. Of course I had seen lilies before and knew they came in many varieties. I particularly like Easter lilies (my beloved grandmother’s favorite) and tiger lilies. I had neither seen nor heard of the stargazer. It was love at first sight. If you haven’t seen a stargazer, take a look when visiting a florist. The petals are bright pink in the center, with darker pink spots, edged with a pure, creamy white. The effect is lovely and, at first glance, I decided these flowers were to be the star of my centerpieces.
I looked at many centerpiece options in which the stargazer received top billing. None of them satisfied me. I felt the stargazers didn’t stand out enough, their luster lost in the surrounding petals. A chance remark by the florist clicked something in my brain, and I realized the solution to both problems was right in front of me - the centerpieces and favors would be one and the same.
Each table was to hold twelve guests. I decided the centerpiece would be a circle of twelve personalized vases, each with a single stargazer. At the end of the evening, each guest would simply pick up the vase in front of his or her place and take it, and the stargazer, home. The florist was hesitant when I explained, only because he was polite and wanted the business. I could tell he thought the idea was stupid and I worried he was right. At the event though, even he admitted the idea worked brilliantly. The effect was breathtaking really, beautiful, elegant, different, pretty much everything I wanted. Guests loved the favors. I think it was more because of the flowers than the vases. (I suspect most of them ended up in the garbage and I don’t begrudge the tossing. I just did it with a personalized candle from a baby shower.) The guests raved about the stargazers. Several even mentioned the flowers in follow-up notes or the next time I saw them. The flowers truly were beautiful and added so much to the evening.
The stargazers gave me something else, the gift of a beautiful memory. The reason is another aspect many flowers share, another gift flowers give. Like many lily varieties, stargazers have a strong and beautiful fragrance. If one is sitting in a vase on your desk, you catch a whiff when you enter your office. Multiplied by one hundred and seventy-five, the effect was dazzling. I will never forget the fragrance when I walked into the dining room for my wedding reception. It seemed at the time like the loveliest thing I had ever smelled. Many of the guests commented on the fragrance. One of my husband’s aunts told me she had entered the empty dining room during the cocktail hour because she wanted to put her bag at the table. She said the scent of the flowers stopped her in her tracks. I have been married for twenty years and she still tells that story. The fragrance created a lovely memory for me. Every time I smell a stargazer, I am transported to that evening. My husband often buys me stargazers and the effect has never dissipated. When I smell the stargazer, I feel all of the joy and excitement I felt on that night so many years ago.
Why does the fragrance of a flower so affect humans? The characteristics of living things are generally there for a reason. The fancy term for that reason is “biological imperative,” the needs of the organism required to perpetuate their existence, also known as reproduction and survival. The biological imperative for the fragrance of a flower seems obvious. The fragrance is meant to attract bees, birds, insects, or whatever is needed to spread pollen thus helping to propagate the species. But why is the fragrance appealing to humans? We generally aren’t necessary for pollination. Why would nature want us to be attracted to flowers? Maybe there is a secondary purpose to the fragrance. Aromatherapists believe fragrance can reduce stress, alleviate headaches, etc. Maybe nature gave flowers attractive fragrances to provide medicinal benefits to humans. Or perhaps the idea was to help us with our own survival. Flowers are used in the preparation of many perfumes and scented lotions. One of the reasons we use these things is to be attractive to potential mates, so one could see floral fragrance as lending a helping hand to human reproduction and survival. Maybe there is another reason that has not been discovered yet.
Perhaps it is none of those things. Maybe we shouldn’t try to figure it out. The fragrance of flowers brings beauty into our lives and can create amazing memories. I guess one could say that’s all you need to know. Whatever the reason, the fragrance of a flower adds so much to our enjoyment of it, both in the moment and in the memories.